“...the quality of our lives is dictated by the quality of our connections and our relationships. It’s all about the power of connection and communication.” – Rik Rushton
We’re very happy to announce that Rik Rushton, one of our good supporters and mentors on Real Estate UNCUT, has been featured on TEDx Talks. He shares a simple communication framework to help us connect with all personalities by simply “Tuning-in” to others before you broadcast. This allows us to connect on a deeper level.
Here are the highlights of his powerful and insightful message:
Great minds think alike… or do they?
Our DNA is hardwired to connect with people who are just like us. When Rik started his professional career, like many people, he was told to find like-minded people and hang out with them.
However, being with people who think just like you will dilute your thinking.
In fact, now we have to actually connect with people who are diametrically opposed to us. That way, our thinking, the opportunities, and the possibilities expand. Rik has looked at success models for the best part of three decades and he has concluded that there are no successful moments. Success is not a solid performance. We need other people to help us get further along in the game of life.
Connecting with people who are just like us is easy to do because we know, or have a good idea of what they like and how they think. Why? Because they are just like us.
The real challenge is connecting with people who don’t think the same way and don’t perceive things as we do. But that’s how real growth is found.
Personalities of color
Rik Rushton shares a simple model that can help us understand others who are not like us moving forward.
Red - Red-type personalities are always in a hurry. They’re the type of people to say “Instant coffee is not quite fast enough.” They move through life very quickly. So, if you have a meeting with a red type personality, they’re likely to want a 15-minute rundown of a meeting that would normally take an hour. After all, three words are better than thirty-three.
Yellow - Yellow-type personalities, on the other hand, are on the other side of the spectrum. They’re the type of people who won’t drill a meeting down to 15 minutes, no. They want to have an engagement and hang out with you. These are usually the people to ask “How are you?” genuinely before a meeting.
Aqua - Aqua-type personalities can be misconstrued for shy people when they could actually be introverts. They have trouble with both red and yellow people because they are put on the spot. Aquas prefer to sit in a corner of a room and observe their surroundings.
Where yellow-types can walk into a room of 100 people and walk out with 99 new friends, and red-type people will walk in there and zone immediately in on 15 like-minded people, aquas will sit in the corner and generally won’t miss a single thing.
Blue - Blue-type personalities are absolutely process-driven. They love the word process. They’re like the gatekeepers to all the doorways, if you don’t tick off every box that needs to be ticked, they’ll show you some other boxes that you didn’t even know you needed ticked.
If you speak to a person in the way you prefer to speak; that means you’re speaking to their head. But if you speak to them in their preferred language, you speak to their heart.
So, how does this work?
Let’s say you’re a red-type personality, and you know that you like things done immediately, on the spot, right on the dot… and you meet what you think is an aqua-type person. To connect with them, you have to slow down. It takes effort, yes, but to understand and connect with others, you have to be on their wavelength. So in this case, you need to talk slower and give them time to internalize.
Now let’s say that your flight has been cancelled and the person on the flight desk is a blue-type. Are you going to lose your temper and bang on the desk? Say things like: “Do you know who I am? I needed to be on that flight yesterday!” No, right? If you want to connect, you need to ask them “What’s the next step for the process? Where do I fit in?”
To drive the point home, Rik Rushton shares a very personal and powerful story about how he found the value of connecting to others. Watch the complete talk on YouTube.